Hitler, for his honeymoon, went into a ditch with his wife, got covered in gas. I'm just saying, you know, it's something you might want to think about next time you complain about how much your last date, honeymoon, or outing with significant other sucked. Hitler was a world leader & even then, well, that honeymoon sort of sucked. There is really no other word for it, but I guess, you know, that might have been a little better than he deserved.
And that's Hitler with bunny rabbit ears.
I find it comforting to see genocidal maniacs with bunny rabbit ears.
Everyone knows that Hitler was a pretty nasty person, but not that many people know that he had one of the absolute worst honeymoons in the history of bad honeymoons. But that was fitting for the whole theme of the wedding. I mean, he didn't exactly pick the best place to hold his wedding either
Some conspiracy theorists think that Hitler had his wedding in a gas chamber, but that's simply not true. The fact is, the location really sucked, but on 29 April 1945, Berlin didn't have too many available locations. The Soviets had already booked the Warsaw Inn & Ballroom. He had to make due. Shotgun wedding & all.
No, that's sort of an exaggeration. It wasn't really a shotgun wedding. Eva wasn't preggers. It was more of a simple cyanide-Walther PPK wedding. A lot of people think it was a Cyanide-Luger wedding, but he really had a bit more class than that & went with a bit of a James Bond theme.
That really has nothing to do with anything, I just thought I'd point that out. I know people that carry things with them. Twenty-years on they can still lose their temper over something you did when you were eight. So you know, perspective. You might not have had the best honeymoon on earth, but it didn't end in a ditch covered in petrol.
Just, you know, just keep that in mind next time you feel the need to bitch because you could only afford the Holiday Inn Express for the reception/wedding & it wasn't even exotic, it was the one in your home town. You could get all bent out of shape over it, or you, know, you can put things in perspective.
It could be worse.
Henry Ziegland, A Texan had a bit of a wedding problem as well. He sort of got cold feet at the last moment. I mean, it was Texas in the 1880s, there were brothels on every corner & half the female population was into prostitution. You know, you just know that you're wife is going to put her foot down over that. She's not getting the funny syphilis because you want to go to the bar after work.
So, you know, put yourself in his shoes, easy money & tons of whores, or a the same woman every night of the week?
Yeah, that's right. Old Henry chose the funny syphilis.
No, it's actually not that funny, it was a nice trade. We gave the Native American's small pox & in exchange they made sure that sex kills & gave the world syphilis.
Anyway, because he broke it off, his blushing bride killed herself & that enraged her brother so much that he went over to Henry's house, shot him in the face, & then killed himself.
Only he didn't really shoot Henry in the face, he sort of gently grazed his cheek & the bullet lodged into the tree behind him.
It all sort of worked out for Henry, he got to play the field & didn't have to suffer the occasional embarrassment of meeting the women he left at the altar & her family in the streets.
Things were going well for three decades, until he tried to remove the tree from his front yard, with a stick of dynamite, & the bullet blasted out of the tree & hit him in the head, killing him on the spot.
The moral here is, don't stress too much if he stands you up ladies. Don't worry if he doesn't call, forgive him if he leaves you at the altar. because, a decade down the line, he's going to do something really stupid & hurt himself.
He's a guy, after all, it's only a matter of time before he does something stupid.
Where was actually a war over opium. Honestly & it had nothing to do with 26th & Pulaski either. It actually happened in China & it was between the British & the Chinese over the drug trade, the trade of opium grown in India that the British...well, in reality it was the East Indian Trading Company that was selling opium to China in exchange for tea.
The East Indian Company was far too big to fail. England fought a fair few wars to protect their corporate interests didn't they?
Interesting how countries in capitalist countries are willing to kill their own people to protect the private interests of corporations.
Anyway, the Chinese, during the opium wars, used to light monkeys on fire & catapult them at the British forces.
There is no moral behind that little tidbit, that's just the sort of conclusions that people jump to when they are smoking opium.
Only they weren't using them on land. They were shooting the flaming monkeys at the British navy, because, you know, when you are smoking a shit-ton of opium, the only possible way you can rationally take on the world's largest navy is with catapults & flaming monkeys.
There was actually a series of incidents where US servicemen were attacked by well meaning locals with Christmas decorations & crucified Santa Clauses.
The first recorded encounter was in Japan following World War II & the faux pas is still more common there than anywhere else in the world, but it has happened in South Korea, Vietnam, & China.
Understanding the whole Western Christmas tradition is a bit complex for Asian minds that weren't raised to not think about the link between Santa & Jesus.
So the common thing to do, in order to make their western guests feel more at home when they are missing the holidays, is to surprise them with a crucified Santa on Christmas & then wrap them up with garland & strings of popcorn because, yeah, we even have a hard time understand the whole tree thing.
When you are a group of war weary World War II soldiers, stationed in Japan, well, let's face it. A crucified Santa & a bombardment with Christmas ornaments can come as a shock & a threat.
Thankfully, no one was injured.
In 2007 the Swiss infantry got lost on a training exercise & invaded Lichtenstein creating the briefest & most blood free war in the World.
In 1821, while fighting the Ottomans in an attempt to free Greece, the revolutionaries pinned the Ottoman forces in the Acropolis. They kept them pinned for several days & nights, exhausting the Ottoman supply of munitions.
So the Ottoman's started to take columns from the Acropolis & fling them at the Greeks as a means to defend themselves.
The Greeks responded by, not exactly offering peace talks & a surrender, but rather sent emissaries to the Ottomans, armed with crates of ammunition & notes requesting them to leave the columns alone.
Yeah, this post was pointless wasn't it?
Nope, no point here, in fact, there wasn't any links from one little factoid to the other.
Greek fucking tragedy this was.
Speaking of the Ottomans
During the Spanish Civil War, they used turkeys to airdrop supplies.
The CIA spent $20 million to teach a cat how to spy on the Soviets.
Only to watch it get run over by a car on its first mission.
In Michigan it is illegal for a single man to own livestock.
We know that is a very sexist law because it is still legal for single woman to own a cucumber
And, in Michigan, the blind are legally allowed to go hunting all by themselves.
In 1932 Australia lost a war against 20,000 wild Emus in what was officially declared "The Great Emu War." The Emus actually over-ran the Australian position, causing the military to retreat & seized several machine guns.
Wellington met Napoleon at Waterloo because he dropped a mouse in ink & let it run across a map of Europe.
Senator Joe McCarthy, famous for the anti-communist witch hunts, really enjoyed kicking people in the balls. Literally. He was reported to have kicked over twenty people, all suspected communists & liberals in the balls while serving as a junior senator for Wisconsin.
He once even tried to kick the famous reporter Drew Pearson, the first man to question the HAUC, in the balls. Only to have the fight broken up by Richard Nixon.
The Emir of Qatar actually donated $100 million dollars to help rebuild New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina...more money than was in the initial Bush funding...OK, that's not funny, but still, way to go!
Fanta Orange was President Johnson's favorite drink & he liked it so much he had it on tap in the Oval Office.
And it was made so Coca-Cola could still sell their products to Germany throughout Word War II.
I'll leave you with this:
I find it comforting to see genocidal maniacs with bunny rabbit ears.
Everyone knows that Hitler was a pretty nasty person, but not that many people know that he had one of the absolute worst honeymoons in the history of bad honeymoons. But that was fitting for the whole theme of the wedding. I mean, he didn't exactly pick the best place to hold his wedding either
No, that's sort of an exaggeration. It wasn't really a shotgun wedding. Eva wasn't preggers. It was more of a simple cyanide-Walther PPK wedding. A lot of people think it was a Cyanide-Luger wedding, but he really had a bit more class than that & went with a bit of a James Bond theme.
It could be worse.
Yeah, that's right. Old Henry chose the funny syphilis.
No, it's actually not that funny, it was a nice trade. We gave the Native American's small pox & in exchange they made sure that sex kills & gave the world syphilis.
Anyway, because he broke it off, his blushing bride killed herself & that enraged her brother so much that he went over to Henry's house, shot him in the face, & then killed himself.
Only he didn't really shoot Henry in the face, he sort of gently grazed his cheek & the bullet lodged into the tree behind him.
Things were going well for three decades, until he tried to remove the tree from his front yard, with a stick of dynamite, & the bullet blasted out of the tree & hit him in the head, killing him on the spot.
He's a guy, after all, it's only a matter of time before he does something stupid.
The East Indian Company was far too big to fail. England fought a fair few wars to protect their corporate interests didn't they?
Interesting how countries in capitalist countries are willing to kill their own people to protect the private interests of corporations.
There is no moral behind that little tidbit, that's just the sort of conclusions that people jump to when they are smoking opium.
The first recorded encounter was in Japan following World War II & the faux pas is still more common there than anywhere else in the world, but it has happened in South Korea, Vietnam, & China.
Understanding the whole Western Christmas tradition is a bit complex for Asian minds that weren't raised to not think about the link between Santa & Jesus.
Thankfully, no one was injured.
So the Ottoman's started to take columns from the Acropolis & fling them at the Greeks as a means to defend themselves.
Yeah, this post was pointless wasn't it?
Nope, no point here, in fact, there wasn't any links from one little factoid to the other.
Greek fucking tragedy this was.
Speaking of the Ottomans
During the Spanish Civil War, they used turkeys to airdrop supplies.
In Michigan it is illegal for a single man to own livestock.
We know that is a very sexist law because it is still legal for single woman to own a cucumber
In 1932 Australia lost a war against 20,000 wild Emus in what was officially declared "The Great Emu War." The Emus actually over-ran the Australian position, causing the military to retreat & seized several machine guns.
He once even tried to kick the famous reporter Drew Pearson, the first man to question the HAUC, in the balls. Only to have the fight broken up by Richard Nixon.
I'll leave you with this:
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