I had a relative...Hold on. I should start like this:
To air out closely guarded family secrets, the ones that no one ever, EVER, wants to have let out into the open...well...I have a relative & when he was little he loved his Wonder Woman undies.
Nope, you are reading the right blog. This is still the one about history & not the one about friends & family.
And I'm not going to tell you which relative it is. But if he's reading this, he knows who he is & he knows I'm appropriately sorry about airing that little "shhh!" for all the world to read.
Nobody is going to guess anyway & he's liberal enough to not care.
But anyway, this post is about religion, well, it's about Judaism, BDSM, & Superheros.
It's not really too much of a leap from the whole history thing. Comic books have a long & complex plot line with a lot of characters & lot of strange things that happen & sometimes happen so frequently that the universe needs to have doctorates in strange just to keep up with all of it.
The same can be said about history, only at that point they generally call them Doctorates in Philosophy & not Strange & they all act like defenestrating Bishops is a perfectly normal thing to do.
At any rate, you give a history nerd a comic book & congratulations, you've just created a comic book nerd.
Now you give that same comic book to a history nerd that has never ever heard of a comic book before & there is only one logical conclusion that he is going to jump to:
Yeah, that's right, once upon a time in 16th century Prague a Rabbi created a monster to protect his people from persecution & that monster turned on him, You are familiar with the story, you've heard it before.
Only the difference is that, if you are a Jew, you really don't want to touch dead bodies because they are about as unclean, unKosher as you can get so you are certainly NOT going to go into graveyards & dig them up for spare parts. The thought isn't really going to cross your mind & you are certainly NOT going to write about it to inspire kids.
But radiation, on the other hand, the Torah says absolutely nothing about. So you might not be familiar with the Golem of Prague, & you might not like Frankenstein's Monster, but chances are you have heard of the Hulk:
It's the same story, just tweaked a few times & in the process went from clay to dead flesh to human cells & gamma radiation.
Yeah, the whole Jewish influence in comic books is pretty obvious, not if you are a historian, but if you just stop & read who is making them:
Yup, the first comic books, the first super hero's the first real fan boy obsession was really created by Jews. They filled the pages with a lot of their religion, a lot of their culture, & a shit ton of their folktales & mythology.
And, despite all of that we had to wait until the 80s to get Kitty Pryde. Up until Shadowcat, if the characters were Jewish they were closeted about it or Super Villains.
It's amazing. You read comic books & if you're not familiar with Settings in Silver, if you've never read through Kabbalah & discovered, yes, it's about as bull shit as the Wiccan Bible, than Judaism isn't the first thing that pops into your head when you read comic books.
And when they run out of the myths, stories, & folk legends that they grew up with, well, like any good writer, they start snatching legends from other cultures. Some of which are blatantly obvious:
Generally though, it isn't Judaism or Norseism...is Norseism even a word?...Paganism, mythology, Grimm's Fairy Tales, & what-not that pops into your mind when you read comic books. Most of the time you slide one out of it's sleeve, you open the cover & there are two things staring right at you on every page.
It's hard to focus on the inspiration of your favorite heroes & villains when you have these staring you down on all 15 pages:
Generally those are followed by a more abstract thought that goes something like this:
And suddenly you realize why fat adolescent virgin boys LOVE comic books.
This thought is, of course doubled when you go to the nearest comic con & you are surrounded by this:
And suddenly the entire world of comic books starts to stink of sex & you've already forgotten everything that I wrote about Golem's & Judaism & stolen culture & that five-thousand-years of rich tradition & history that companies like Marvel have cleverly hidden in the pages of their publications. Now you aren't focused on the myriad of Hebrew legends hidden within the comic book world.
You've already opened the cover & come face-to-face with boobies. It's hard to get those out of your head, I know, I'm a man. They even made me forget what I was talking about. I started to drool, & all I could think about was:
So now that we have moved away from the ONE Hebrew word I can recognize: אַבְרָהָם And into sex it's time to drop the whole clean mythology with massive boobies & move into the kinkier side of comic books.
And thank you Edmundo, it was a dismal failure, I know what you were thinking, but I still can't speak Spanish & I can only fool people with my skills in Latin. In all honesty if it wasn't for a history degree & Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my Latin would be just as bad as my Spanish & like everyone else: Latine, quam turpe solum clichés. Teaching me Hebrew was a lost cause from the get-go.
But, like the comic books I grew to love as a child, you took the path of Stan Lee & attempted to teach me something important.
Despite all of the:
Comic books actually are good for children. Well, they are good for kids if you hold nice Liberal values. Everything your child needs to know about life, they can learn in comic books. The Hulk teaches kids how to manage their anger. Captain America teaches kids what America should represent, not what it currently represents. The X-Men teaches kids to accept everyone, regardless or race, sexuality, religion, or immigrant status. And Iron Man teaches kids NOT to be alcoholic pricks.
Chances are, if your kids read comic books, well, they will probably be bullied, but they wouldn't bully anyone. They won't be racist or homophobic, they will learn to accept everyone & since the most awesomest characters are always women, they will be far from misogynistic, despite all the boobies:
Comic books have a mission to teach your children the difference between right & wrong & do it in a way that will hold their attention. Plus, it has the added bonus of improving their vocabulary, so they walk away knowing what Rogue & Gambit & Colossus mean.
Still, with all those gauntlets, thongs, & cleavage, there is bound to be a kinkier side of comics & to find it we have to move away from the good comic books that Marvel publishes, the more adult friendly comic books that DC Vertigo publishes, the entire indie world, the movie based Dark Horse publications & instead of quality, focus on the shit that DC throws out once a month in its primary Universe.
That's right. Wonder Woman. The kinkiest of all super heroes.
She was created by a man named William Moulton Marston & that dude was into some kinky shit. He was a Harvard graduate with a Ph.D. in psychology & had a wife named Elizabeth & a sex slave named Olive Byrne.
Now it was his wife, Elizabeth, that suggested that he make a female super hero to counter the enormous muscles & testosterone that was dominating the comic book world at the time.
So William did what any good husband would do, he listened to his wife & based the character off of Olive, their live-in sex slave &, because he was a kinky SOB, he made sure to give Wonder Woman a pretty heavy bondage theme.
So, you know, he was into kinky sex, but not so into comic books that he realized that there was already a woman famous for bondage comics:
The difference was that Wonder Woman was created for children & not for adults & the kinky sex theme was meant to stay securely in the subtext & not in the, well, in the text.
He looked at his wife as the prime example of a liberated woman & he looked at Olive as the prime example of a sexy woman & brought them both together to create his new super hero, who came from a female utopia into a male's world & brought heavy bondage themes with her, because, you know, women's liberation only goes so far & kinky, even in 1940, was still sexy.
And, like the golden rope that Wonder Woman uses to tie people up & make them tell the truth, he went on to create the systolic-blood-pressure-measuring apparatus which we know better as the polygraph.
So what does that mean? It means that there are more to comic books than cleavage, invisible jets, big guns, & SR-71s.
You might actually learn something about history, religion, mythology, & bondage if you take the time to read them.
I'll leave you with this:
To air out closely guarded family secrets, the ones that no one ever, EVER, wants to have let out into the open...well...I have a relative & when he was little he loved his Wonder Woman undies.
Nope, you are reading the right blog. This is still the one about history & not the one about friends & family.
Nobody is going to guess anyway & he's liberal enough to not care.
But anyway, this post is about religion, well, it's about Judaism, BDSM, & Superheros.
It's not really too much of a leap from the whole history thing. Comic books have a long & complex plot line with a lot of characters & lot of strange things that happen & sometimes happen so frequently that the universe needs to have doctorates in strange just to keep up with all of it.
The same can be said about history, only at that point they generally call them Doctorates in Philosophy & not Strange & they all act like defenestrating Bishops is a perfectly normal thing to do.
At any rate, you give a history nerd a comic book & congratulations, you've just created a comic book nerd.
Now you give that same comic book to a history nerd that has never ever heard of a comic book before & there is only one logical conclusion that he is going to jump to:
But radiation, on the other hand, the Torah says absolutely nothing about. So you might not be familiar with the Golem of Prague, & you might not like Frankenstein's Monster, but chances are you have heard of the Hulk:
Yeah, the whole Jewish influence in comic books is pretty obvious, not if you are a historian, but if you just stop & read who is making them:
- Stan Lee
- Jack Kirby
- Neal Adams
- Stan Lee
- Daniel Clowes
- Brian Michael Bendis
- Bob Kane
- Stan Lee
- Adam Kubert
- Andy Kubert
- Joe Kubert
- Stan Lee
- Jeph Loeb
- Will Eisner
- Art Spiegelman
- Stan Lee
Yup, the first comic books, the first super hero's the first real fan boy obsession was really created by Jews. They filled the pages with a lot of their religion, a lot of their culture, & a shit ton of their folktales & mythology.
And, despite all of that we had to wait until the 80s to get Kitty Pryde. Up until Shadowcat, if the characters were Jewish they were closeted about it or Super Villains.
And when they run out of the myths, stories, & folk legends that they grew up with, well, like any good writer, they start snatching legends from other cultures. Some of which are blatantly obvious:
It's hard to focus on the inspiration of your favorite heroes & villains when you have these staring you down on all 15 pages:
And suddenly you realize why fat adolescent virgin boys LOVE comic books.
This thought is, of course doubled when you go to the nearest comic con & you are surrounded by this:
You've already opened the cover & come face-to-face with boobies. It's hard to get those out of your head, I know, I'm a man. They even made me forget what I was talking about. I started to drool, & all I could think about was:
And thank you Edmundo, it was a dismal failure, I know what you were thinking, but I still can't speak Spanish & I can only fool people with my skills in Latin. In all honesty if it wasn't for a history degree & Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my Latin would be just as bad as my Spanish & like everyone else: Latine, quam turpe solum clichés. Teaching me Hebrew was a lost cause from the get-go.
But, like the comic books I grew to love as a child, you took the path of Stan Lee & attempted to teach me something important.
Despite all of the:
Chances are, if your kids read comic books, well, they will probably be bullied, but they wouldn't bully anyone. They won't be racist or homophobic, they will learn to accept everyone & since the most awesomest characters are always women, they will be far from misogynistic, despite all the boobies:
Still, with all those gauntlets, thongs, & cleavage, there is bound to be a kinkier side of comics & to find it we have to move away from the good comic books that Marvel publishes, the more adult friendly comic books that DC Vertigo publishes, the entire indie world, the movie based Dark Horse publications & instead of quality, focus on the shit that DC throws out once a month in its primary Universe.
She was created by a man named William Moulton Marston & that dude was into some kinky shit. He was a Harvard graduate with a Ph.D. in psychology & had a wife named Elizabeth & a sex slave named Olive Byrne.
Now it was his wife, Elizabeth, that suggested that he make a female super hero to counter the enormous muscles & testosterone that was dominating the comic book world at the time.
So William did what any good husband would do, he listened to his wife & based the character off of Olive, their live-in sex slave &, because he was a kinky SOB, he made sure to give Wonder Woman a pretty heavy bondage theme.
So, you know, he was into kinky sex, but not so into comic books that he realized that there was already a woman famous for bondage comics:
He looked at his wife as the prime example of a liberated woman & he looked at Olive as the prime example of a sexy woman & brought them both together to create his new super hero, who came from a female utopia into a male's world & brought heavy bondage themes with her, because, you know, women's liberation only goes so far & kinky, even in 1940, was still sexy.
And, like the golden rope that Wonder Woman uses to tie people up & make them tell the truth, he went on to create the systolic-blood-pressure-measuring apparatus which we know better as the polygraph.
So what does that mean? It means that there are more to comic books than cleavage, invisible jets, big guns, & SR-71s.
You might actually learn something about history, religion, mythology, & bondage if you take the time to read them.
I'll leave you with this:
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